Still employed - kinda...

So I'm still kind of working. I've been trying to find a new job but there really isn't much out there. I've been to a couple employment agencies and they always say "You're great but...we don't really have anything for you at the moment." Bah Humbug - oh well.

I've also been on two working interviews with a company who now may not be looking to hire some one full-time. Apparently I'm just too good - the position would be taking over the full-time position of someone who has left the company so you would think that it would, therefore, be a full time position. Unfortunately, I did so well that the amount of work that I would alloted would not take me nearly as long as it would have taken this other person. This would be fine with me since my current/old job wants to keep me on 2 days a weeks anyways so if I can eek out another 3 days from this other person then I will be employed 5 days a week. The problem there is that this other company is worried that if my current/old place were to get busier they would want me back full time - which they would - and she is worried that I would leave her then - which I would. I say that because if you can't offer me full time work but some one else can then why would I stay with you? Anyways, I'm supposed to hear from her by the end of this week - it's Thursday...still nothing - Bah humbug.

I do not like my life filled with unknowns. I have several options but I can't put any of them into play because I don't really know what's going to happen and without knowing what's going to happen then I can't plan for the future and seriously I just plain DON'T like it.

This week I have worked 3 days and I have Friday off as well. So I spent my Tuesday of by spending time with a good friend of mine who apparently thought it would lots of fun to psycho-analyze me for literally 7 hours. Everything I said or did during this time was examined and required explanation. I suppose it's only fair since most of the time we normally spend together we spend it discussing her life and current issues. I guess Tuesday was my turn but I was really in a weird mood (well not weird for me) and I didn't find it entertaining at all.

However, some interesting points came up - such as there is an unpardonable sin as according to me. This sin is lying and this is why. I trust everyone about everything. I know this sounds naive but it's simply that I do not want to be suspcious of everyone of everything and therefore I am suspcious of no one of anything. If you tell me you will meet me somewhere I believe you will. If you tell me you are busy I believe that you are. If you tell me you forgot something, lost something, told someone something, did something I will believe you because I DON'T lie. I CAN lie but I choose not to. I can lie VERY well, I used to lie a lot but now I figure what on earth is the point of that? My friend tells me it's sacrilegious to have my OWN unpardonable sin but I'm not sure I care. I figure that since I deal honestly with everyone about everything they should do me the courtesy of relating to me in the same way. I don't mean that if I look fat in something you should go out of your way to tell me that. My friend used this scenario as an example - she borrows my ring that I wear everyday to wear to a party, she promises not to lose it but she does - is that a lie? No that's not a lie but if she then denies losing it - that is a lie. If you lost the ring then just admit that you did. It's just a ring - a ring I really like but still just a ring and I would rather know that it is gone. She also asked what would I want her to do if she were to see my hypothetical boyfriend out with some girl. There are honestly a lot of scenarios that could play into this ie. is it a friend or is he actually cheating on me? I don't think I would care if he was out with 'Brenda' so long as he told me he was going to have coffee with 'Brenda' and didn't lie and say he was seeing 'Brad'. I advised her that she should make her presence known to him and tell him that I prize honesty above all else and he has a deadline in which to come clean to me himself or else she would do it for him. Ie. he needs to tell me by Friday what's really going on or she will - this way he has his opportunity and if he chooses not to take it then he has made his choice. Seriously what should it matter if he's having coffee with a girl? I have friends that are boys and so he can have friends that are girls - it only matters if he's being dishonest about it - because then you have to ask "Why is he lying?"

The truth according to Sarah is that lying is the real root of all evil. But hey - what do I know?