Still employed - kinda...

So I'm still kind of working. I've been trying to find a new job but there really isn't much out there. I've been to a couple employment agencies and they always say "You're great but...we don't really have anything for you at the moment." Bah Humbug - oh well.

I've also been on two working interviews with a company who now may not be looking to hire some one full-time. Apparently I'm just too good - the position would be taking over the full-time position of someone who has left the company so you would think that it would, therefore, be a full time position. Unfortunately, I did so well that the amount of work that I would alloted would not take me nearly as long as it would have taken this other person. This would be fine with me since my current/old job wants to keep me on 2 days a weeks anyways so if I can eek out another 3 days from this other person then I will be employed 5 days a week. The problem there is that this other company is worried that if my current/old place were to get busier they would want me back full time - which they would - and she is worried that I would leave her then - which I would. I say that because if you can't offer me full time work but some one else can then why would I stay with you? Anyways, I'm supposed to hear from her by the end of this week - it's Thursday...still nothing - Bah humbug.

I do not like my life filled with unknowns. I have several options but I can't put any of them into play because I don't really know what's going to happen and without knowing what's going to happen then I can't plan for the future and seriously I just plain DON'T like it.

This week I have worked 3 days and I have Friday off as well. So I spent my Tuesday of by spending time with a good friend of mine who apparently thought it would lots of fun to psycho-analyze me for literally 7 hours. Everything I said or did during this time was examined and required explanation. I suppose it's only fair since most of the time we normally spend together we spend it discussing her life and current issues. I guess Tuesday was my turn but I was really in a weird mood (well not weird for me) and I didn't find it entertaining at all.

However, some interesting points came up - such as there is an unpardonable sin as according to me. This sin is lying and this is why. I trust everyone about everything. I know this sounds naive but it's simply that I do not want to be suspcious of everyone of everything and therefore I am suspcious of no one of anything. If you tell me you will meet me somewhere I believe you will. If you tell me you are busy I believe that you are. If you tell me you forgot something, lost something, told someone something, did something I will believe you because I DON'T lie. I CAN lie but I choose not to. I can lie VERY well, I used to lie a lot but now I figure what on earth is the point of that? My friend tells me it's sacrilegious to have my OWN unpardonable sin but I'm not sure I care. I figure that since I deal honestly with everyone about everything they should do me the courtesy of relating to me in the same way. I don't mean that if I look fat in something you should go out of your way to tell me that. My friend used this scenario as an example - she borrows my ring that I wear everyday to wear to a party, she promises not to lose it but she does - is that a lie? No that's not a lie but if she then denies losing it - that is a lie. If you lost the ring then just admit that you did. It's just a ring - a ring I really like but still just a ring and I would rather know that it is gone. She also asked what would I want her to do if she were to see my hypothetical boyfriend out with some girl. There are honestly a lot of scenarios that could play into this ie. is it a friend or is he actually cheating on me? I don't think I would care if he was out with 'Brenda' so long as he told me he was going to have coffee with 'Brenda' and didn't lie and say he was seeing 'Brad'. I advised her that she should make her presence known to him and tell him that I prize honesty above all else and he has a deadline in which to come clean to me himself or else she would do it for him. Ie. he needs to tell me by Friday what's really going on or she will - this way he has his opportunity and if he chooses not to take it then he has made his choice. Seriously what should it matter if he's having coffee with a girl? I have friends that are boys and so he can have friends that are girls - it only matters if he's being dishonest about it - because then you have to ask "Why is he lying?"

The truth according to Sarah is that lying is the real root of all evil. But hey - what do I know?

Hmmm...facing unemployment...

So I was laid of Friday. I was a bit surprised since as recent as the week before I was told I didn't have to worry about my job beacuse it was safe. But apparently that safety had an expiry date and that was Friday afternoon.

They have atleast given me three weeks notice and I have already started applying for jobs. I haven't freaked out yet but talk to me when the three weeks are up if I haven't found anything
else by then.

I spent a glorious Saturday walking around Stanley Park - unfortunately I wore the wrong shoes and now me right knee hurts and my left ankle hurts. I have also developed a sore throat and a runny nose and I didn't sleep at all last night. I also have a test on Thursday night worth 20% of my grade.

Lots of things for me to deal with right now - hopefully I'll be able to.

Things I've learned about me...

Do you and your reactions to people and situations ever take you by surprise? I used to be shocked by my behaviour every so often (not usually in a good way) but now I feel I know understand myself better and therefore deal with things better.

For example I truly like being alone - it refreshes me - I don't want to be alone ALL the time but I have realized that people drain me and so I NEED time alone. If I don't get time alone then I get too drained and when I get too drained I get cranky!
The amount that people drain me depends on the person. Some people I can be around alot and be fine and others I can only handle a couple hours before reverting to cranky Sarah (yes I am using cranky instead of a much stronger and perhaps inappropriate word). So what do I do to keep myself refreshed? I make sure that I spend enough time alone and don't let myself get bullied into too many draining activities.

I also have learned that I like a plan. If something is in THE PLAN then it will work - if you try and shove something else into or adjust THE PLAN then you run the risk of cranky Sarah. Please do not attempt to plan my life for me - I have it handled. If you want me to be involved in something then present the option to me and I will analyze my current plan to see if it is 1) feasible and 2) worth adjusting THE PLAN. It really has to fulfill both requirements for me to participate. Don't push it - just accept it and move on - I have.

I have also noticed that if I try to do too much then I become Perma-Cranky Sarah and really no one wants that. This is why I plan - everything - I need to know ahead of time that everyhting I want to do will fit nicely into the alloted amounts of time available. I also hate to feel rushed - this ties into the fitting nicely thing. If I figure something will take half an hour then I would want an hour available just in case something happens and it takes longer I don't need to feel stressed about it. For example - I have just started taking a night hcourse in Surrey which (according to Mapquest) should take me 50 minutes to get there - knowing myself and my penchant for getting stressed I gave myself 70 minutes to get there. It took me 60 minutes to arrive at campus and then another 5 minutes waiting in the pay parking line (because someone didn't know how to use the machine) but I was able to get to class with 5 minutes to spare - and I didn't get all stressed because I had given myself extra time.

Meh - maybe I'm crazy but this works for me.

One down lots more to go...

So I wrote my final for Organizational Behaviour on Saturday morning - by Saturday afternoon I had my final grade for the course already. I have to admit that my teacher is super organized - anyway - ended up with an A in the course so that makes me happy I put in all that effort since it paid off.
Next course will be Accounting 2 - I'm going to drive out to Surrey today to sell back my OB text and buy my Accounting one. My plan is - hopefully - to read my accounting text before my class even starts. My first class is September 10th and I figure if I read a chapter a day I will be in good shape for the coming semester. That's the plan now let's see if I can stick to it.......

Must purchase GPS...

So I have never had a good sense of direction. All my family and most of my friends will attest to this - there are numerous stories of how ridiculously lost I can get in a short period of time and now we can add a new one.
On Tuesday I got lost in Abbotsford for 1.5 hours! Honestly I think it's a special gift to be able to get THAT lost! I decided that I wanted to find Superstore as there were a number Superstore specific items I wanted to purchase. I did my due diligence and looked up online where it was and actually found it rather flukily and easily. The trouble started when I tried leaving Superstore. I was SO sure of myself that I figured I would go home a different way than I had arrived. This was NOT a good idea and I ended up on the #11 - TWICE! I was honestly SO lost I just kept driving and driving - turning around and driving some more - then turning around again - trying desperately to find some street name that I recongized. I would eventually find one and then drive on it for AGES and realize it was NOT taking me where I wanted to go so I would turn around and try again. The sad part is I started out only a couple blocks from my apartment - I made one wrong turn (right instead of left) and that began my little adventure. Atleast my car has air conditioning!

If you're going to talk then talk otherwise be quiet...

During my trip to GP I realized I'm a pretty lousy travel companion. I was flying with my dear mother who likes to chat which is fine - if you're going to keep up a conversation - but if you're going to say one thing then stop then wait a minute and say one more thing and then wait a minute and say one more thing then wait a minute and say one thing...(I think you get the idea) it gets annoying.
I love the quiet - silence doesn't scare me it relaxes me - I'm used to travelling alone and as with everything I have my little routine and this one includes me reading in the relative silence of the plane from the moment I get on to the moment we land. I'm not one of those people who strikes up a conversation with the random person sitting next to me - I'm the person who sits there and pretends you all don't exist. It's anti-social - I know.
After 30 minutes of the talk-not talk-talk I finally told my dear mother that I had the read the same three sentences over and over and either we have a conversation or she had to stop talking to me and watch her TV with the earphones I lent her. I'm sure I hurt her feelings - I'm evil.
I tried to make up for it by being pleasant and not tearing a strip off my greedy brother during the trip but I ended up actually getting in trouble for that. Apparantly it would have been appreciated if I HAD stood up to him and told him to stop being such an @$$ - I can't ever get it right. I did try to appease people on this trip, despite the combined 6 hours of sleep I got the two nights I was there - I even bought mom breakfast on our way home and she even let me read my book on the plane :)

There and Back Again...

So I spent the weekend in GP - it was hot - but not as bad as what I came home too.
My brother-in-law's birthday was Wednesday so as a surprise mom and I flew up Friday night and back on Sunday. My sister had planned a surprise party for him on Saturday night which worked out well as he was very surprised. Stemma, Mom and I met Anna and Yuya for breakfast at his favorite restaurant. Yuya was told that Stemma wanted to take him out for breakfast to celebrate his birthday and then there would be a family barbeque that evening after he had gone golfing with a friend of his. When he got to the restaurant he ran into another friend at the door but was distracted from that conversation when he noticed me sitting at a table across the room. He didn't trust his eyes. As he shook hands with and spoke to this friend he kept peering over the guys shoulder looking at me. When he and Anna finally made it to the table and hugs were giving out all around he said that he had seen me right away and kept saying to himself "That girl looks like Sarah but what would she be doing here?". We had a wonderful breakfast and Yuya went off to play his round of golf sure in his thinking that our trip up was his surprise. It wasn't. When he got home from golf there was a houseful of people waiting to wish him a very happy 30th Birthday. That party didn't end until 2am Sunday - well that's when I went to bed - had to be up at 5:30am to catch the flight home.
What a whirlwind trip - but worth it!